im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
