I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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