if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
