Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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