would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
