I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
