getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
