No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Still dying that you shit outside
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
