Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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