final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Randomize
