im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
