i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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