yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
