What did we do last night that was yellow?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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