I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
