And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
