I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
