So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
