My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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