Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
