CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
