Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
