I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
