dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
