We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
