I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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