on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize