i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I love you.
Bad choice
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
