I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
