it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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