Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Are we still banned from the library?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
