i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
