which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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