Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Everything about him screamed your future.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
