she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
