im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
