its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
