my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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