eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
