I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
