So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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