the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
