everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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