apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Someone signed my nipple.
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