omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize