Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
