I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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