They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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