he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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