Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
