sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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