I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
