I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
